Relationships and religion....

okay Sheri and Abby I can actually combine both ideas :-) since its been a recent occurrence in my life. But I have more about religion so I'll come back to the boyfriend...

So I was raised Christian; Baptist to be exact. When I was young my mother and I attend a church where the minister was a almost extreme southern baptist; like you couldn't even wear pants in the church as a woman, you had to wear a skirts... Not my favorite thing... I liked going to church as a kid because as an almost only child I got to be around I lot of kids and it wasn't like school; Actually it was my idea to go to church in the first place; funny because I ended up hating it :-( Mainly because I felt like I was being forced to believe in something that I didn't and I had to sit all day and listen about something I didn't understand because my mom loved it...

Now don't get me wrong I believe in GOD, I just didn't believe fully in Jesus and understand why I was going to hell if I didn't believe in Jesus but I believed and understood GOD. As a kid this was hard and as an adult I feel it was crazy. I remember being 16 in bible study class and speaking up and saying I didn't believe in Jesus being the son of GOD sent from heaven to die for our sins.... It broke out in an up roar they were praying over me waving bibles in my face and crying! It's not that I don't believe Jesus the man didn't exist but the chosen part was hard for me to wrap my mind around... Now I have read and heard the story time and time again. But I also understand that there were allot of people claiming to be the chosen one and son of GOD, Jesus never claimed himself to be any more special than us. So why is that him being crucified does anything for my sins; and if it does why do I have to believe in him; if were all the children of GOD wouldn't that apply to every one, not just the ones who believe in him?

In a way I feel my views follow Judaism more than Christianity... But on to combing the two ideas Now my boyfriend was raised nation of Islam and later is switching over to orthodox Islam; which in a way has the same relationship as Christianity to Judaism. He now wants to get serious and will soon be committing himself to being Muslim, So its not a big issue but I have had my struggles with religion and I'm not the best with rules and structure; which is a big deal in religion, especially if you know better you should be doing better, right? Which is hard; Me and my boyfriend live together and we do plan to get married but it won't be for a while and part of me feels its to late to back track in our relationship, and Waite till we get married you know? ;-) Another thing is can I be with someone and not be committed to a religion when they are? Especially if its different from the one I was raised in? I do think about converting but that will take time and learning more for myself; which is crazy cuz I've thought about it since I was little and watching my sister who is a Muslim convert pray... The funny thing is it makes more sense, even though it would be hard for me, and another is my mother being a serious Christian would have a heart attack if I converted :-P