So my friend I mentioned I hung out with yesterday and also saw her mother and aunt who I love as if they were my own :-) and I was happy to see them I hadn't see them in so long....
I vented my feelings of frustration and abandonment with my friend who's been M.I.A in action so long! I'm happy I spoke my peace and it was back to old times for the day... But I'm still frustrated and that won't go way; at least until I see what will happen with our friendship.
I'm mostly bitter because I feel I'm a genuine friend and I don't feel it fair for people to walk in and out of my life whenever they feel like it. That issue comes from my relationship with my father and him being in and out of prison; So the issue runs deep!!!
It's hard to let people in because you never know how long they'll be around. And when they leave they take a piece of you with them. I wear my heart on my sleeve ( as my mother says) and I can't have my heart and soul spread all over.... Those pieces never come back; How long before there's nothing left for me to give..... and I'm turning cold :-( I don't want to be old bitter and alone, with no one to love and no one loving me, no friends or companions....
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5 comments:
you won't be alone, you'll always have a cat or 3. lol!
Hey there lovely...I understand your frustration with your friend but I guess that is her way. She doesn't realize how frustrating it is for the rest of us. It was so good to see you, you look as beautiful as ever :) I too have not been good at keeping in touch but connecting to you through your blog will help. Love you!
that reminds me of this one show called one tree hill when one of the character is so sick of people leaving... so she drew this picture of a stop light and on the bottom she wrote "people always leave"... gosh... i wish that life wasn't THAT bitter...
anyway... im glad you had fun :} and i wish you all the best of luck!
"I don't feel it fair for people to walk in and out of my life whenever they feel like it"-ebony
huhu that's so true. I feel that I'm taken for granted. :( as related to your post in people sucks. I feel your friend, well.. I can;t really say, but from my experience, I feel that maybe because of the years that you and her has been far away from each other for four years, she got used to ur distance and doesn't know how to start a conversation with you. Or maybe something in both of you has changed, that lead the two of you in separate ways.. :(....
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